Right|

On this quiet, wet evening, I have decided to grace the keys with my fingers and share some thoughts about my life.

Lately, my journey has seen some challenging times.The kind that one asks difficult questions that have no promise of an answer. Moments where I could see the essence of myself somehow looking more like a stranger than a friend. Where there was no right answer, no "three steps to success" solution, no healing touch.

I find these glimpses into my soul difficult to share with the world.
If you asked a group of 10 strangers to each, individually, come up with an explanation for what the word "right" meant to them, I can assure you, most of their answers would be unique and individual.

What is right? What is the "right" time? What is the "right" job? What is the "right" moment to let go of hurt? What is the "right" time to forgive someone who continues to hurt you?

The truth is, that we all, deep within us, believe there are certain moments of your life, "You will just know."

My very own father, at the ripe age of thirty, knew the moment he met my mother, that she was the one. There was no convincing him otherwise. He had found the love of his life.

Those moments give me hope. Hope that maybe there are spaces where the sky opens, the light shines perfectly, and you just know. I'm not only talking about relationships. I'm talking about our day to day lives.

I have felt distant lately. Like I am swimming in a sea of expectations, limits and well-meanings.

There seems to be a pattern in my life. I seem to revisit it often, like spotting that same tree every turn of the merry-go round.Like passing by that same billboard twenty times and realizing that on the twentieth time, you don't even know what it reads.

In many ways, I've adjusted to the busy pattern of my life. I think the tapestry looks new, that maybe this time my creative touches will promise some originality.
Being busy does not mean you are original. It does not mean that you are any more valuable. It does not promote your worth.

I remember as a child, dipping my blonde curly head under the cool,crisp water, counting the seconds I could hold my breath.Sometimes I would amaze myself at my ability to hold it longer then I anticipated. But nothing was worse then that frantic feeling of pushing myself too hard and gasping to the surface for air. Realizing that I may have pushed myself too far. In my effort to be valiant, I had robbed myself of one of life's purest and simplest gifts-air.

My vow, to the future and my upcoming 25th year, is to stop gasping for air, hoping that I am seen as valiant. Business does not mean success and originality comes from my passions, my core and my ability to see the silver lining.

Here's to breathing deep, full breaths.