Silver//Lining|
Tonight brings a profound sense of urgency to write.
People process incidents, emotions, heartache, and betrayal in their lives all so differently.
Some of us may approach our pain,with feet firm on the ground, resilient and open-minded.
Others may feel a sense of utter loss, not knowing where they start and their pain begins and ends. They think to themselves ,"How will I begin to mend my heart?".
Others like approaching their pain with what some call, "sweeping it under the rug". Placing it on a shelf, ignoring it and hoping it will somehow dissolve in the business of their lives.
And yet still some people cannot forgive, holding onto the pain, like an unhealthy virus, racing through their blood, crippling them from feeling complete forgiveness.
Tonight I am writing about something that I have never openly written about before. My reason for not writing about it until now, has been that I have just begun to come to a place of peace with it.
Someone I love dearly, suffers from mental illness. It is complex, painful, confusing and all together difficult to comprehend. My journey with it has been most difficult because I like to think in methodical terms. I am extremely emotional, yes, but under the surface, I need to come to a deep understanding of all things in my life.
This one has no resolution.
It is not a song that can be sung from a page, carrying it's lovely tune to listeners, it is not the sun in the sky, that rises each morning,consistently day after day. It is not a story to be read, with a beginning and an end. It is not tangible.
In the beginning of hearing the news,I remember feeling like I was walking down a path map-less, with no end in sight. Feeling lost, angry and anxious. I remember not being able to identify what I was feeling, and consequently being frustrated.I remember feeling like I wanted to be able to mend the hurt,and somehow restore health and wholeness again.
But that was not my place and continues to be so.
Even as I sit here today, I cannot give you definitions, explanations, or remedies. But what I can offer is my perspective. It is a path that I tread ever so lightly, realizing that my comprehension is finite, my understanding adequate, and my heart open.
What I am encouraged to do,is to forgive, to love unswerving, to find the joy in the midst of everything. Not dismissing it, acting cavalier about it, but rather seeing the beauty in the midst of brokenness.
It's takes tremendous courage to see beauty in the ashes of our lives. The healthy way to move forward is to not look back with regret,and hurt, grasping things beyond our control.
Life offers us silver linings. They come in varying forms, each original and meaningful to us individually. Maybe our dilemma is not that we are not seeing it, but rather that our eyes are not open.
People process incidents, emotions, heartache, and betrayal in their lives all so differently.
Some of us may approach our pain,with feet firm on the ground, resilient and open-minded.
Others may feel a sense of utter loss, not knowing where they start and their pain begins and ends. They think to themselves ,"How will I begin to mend my heart?".
Others like approaching their pain with what some call, "sweeping it under the rug". Placing it on a shelf, ignoring it and hoping it will somehow dissolve in the business of their lives.
And yet still some people cannot forgive, holding onto the pain, like an unhealthy virus, racing through their blood, crippling them from feeling complete forgiveness.
Tonight I am writing about something that I have never openly written about before. My reason for not writing about it until now, has been that I have just begun to come to a place of peace with it.
Someone I love dearly, suffers from mental illness. It is complex, painful, confusing and all together difficult to comprehend. My journey with it has been most difficult because I like to think in methodical terms. I am extremely emotional, yes, but under the surface, I need to come to a deep understanding of all things in my life.
This one has no resolution.
It is not a song that can be sung from a page, carrying it's lovely tune to listeners, it is not the sun in the sky, that rises each morning,consistently day after day. It is not a story to be read, with a beginning and an end. It is not tangible.
In the beginning of hearing the news,I remember feeling like I was walking down a path map-less, with no end in sight. Feeling lost, angry and anxious. I remember not being able to identify what I was feeling, and consequently being frustrated.I remember feeling like I wanted to be able to mend the hurt,and somehow restore health and wholeness again.
But that was not my place and continues to be so.
Even as I sit here today, I cannot give you definitions, explanations, or remedies. But what I can offer is my perspective. It is a path that I tread ever so lightly, realizing that my comprehension is finite, my understanding adequate, and my heart open.
What I am encouraged to do,is to forgive, to love unswerving, to find the joy in the midst of everything. Not dismissing it, acting cavalier about it, but rather seeing the beauty in the midst of brokenness.
It's takes tremendous courage to see beauty in the ashes of our lives. The healthy way to move forward is to not look back with regret,and hurt, grasping things beyond our control.
Life offers us silver linings. They come in varying forms, each original and meaningful to us individually. Maybe our dilemma is not that we are not seeing it, but rather that our eyes are not open.
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