Defence + demand|

Tonight, as I glanced out of my car window, I thought to myself, "It is time to write a new blog post". This post is a sort of two fold series. I felt that in order to completely explain my observations, I needed to explain both parts. 

I begin with the word defence. For some people,it's a position they play in a sport, and for others it may be a position in an argument. For me, as of late, it has been a place that I resort to. I try to live my life honestly, so this will be a bold step for me to articulate this. 

Sometimes I get defensive when people say to me that "the right man" will come along. And sometimes I get defensive when people think I'm less of a person because I have a limited understanding of life-because I'm single and henceforth know nothing. Sometimes I get defensive when people say that my life isn't busy because I don't support a family or own a house. But most of all, sometimes I get defensive when I assume that people are always judging me. 

But here's the truth, ladies and gentlemen:

I cannot control people's perceptions, misunderstanding and insensitivity towards me. And my biggest failure in resorting to defensiveness,is that I assume every time that certain subjects are brought up, it is given as a judgment. As a result of that assumption,I have been wrong, I have been on edge and most of all, I have hurt people I love deeply. 

Being defensive is a protective instinct for me.It's a mode I feel safe in, because it means I can control my life, or maybe in 
my own flawed way, grapple at something in the distance.

And here comes the moment of truth. Sometimes I feel really lonely. Sometimes I wish I could fast forward my life and have a few kids. Sometimes I cry behind closed doors when people say that I need to find a partner. I think I cry because I know it's something that is beyond my control, that it's something I need to constantly let go off and it's hard. 

But here's another truth, pegged by my lovely sister, "Admitting you have a hard time being single sometimes doesn't make you weak, it makes you courageous." 

And now comes the second word-Demand. 

When we demand things from life, it's like we are planting a seed of discontent in our hearts. And every time we feed it, with selfishness or our false sense of entitlement, it grows. And soon,we find that life is a checklist instead of an unexpected adventure. 

You,whether single, married or just living life, you are exactly where you need to be. And between each hard place, there is a rock that can be used as a stepping stone. 

Be bold. Be grateful. But most of all, be content.